Aunt Holly

A draft from 1/22/16 that was never published...
Washing dishes and I keep going back to those last hours with Aunt Holly, some of her very last hours. I can see each labored, but almost peaceful breath. Her whole body working so hard for those breaths.  I can feel her, and I am in the moment again.  She had her hat off and her short hair was sticking up. She looked so beautiful!  The kids were alarmed and afraid at first, but after some moments they gathered around and came in close. Colton said it wasn't Aunt Holly, which caused David to break down. Olivia was quiet at first but after some encouragement that she could hear us, she began to talk and then she almost wouldn't shut up. Everything poured out of her and she was telling Aunt Holly everything she would have been so interested to hear. Peyton said a few things, and cried, but it was harder for him to draw in. Jules was so precious. She didn't leave my side very much in those two hours. She stroked my hair a lot and tried to comfort.  Aunt Holly never did wake up while we were there and she never woke up afterwards. Ever. She had been conscious before we got there, but after they carried Analee's bed downstairs for her and laid her down she never woke up.  She asked for me by name just before that. I struggled with not getting there in time, but her SIL, who was rubbing her feet when I got there said that her feet moved when they said, "Holly, Rachel is here". Towards the end I climbed in the bed with her as I had been longing to do the whole time we were there. I am so glad I did. Her arms went up almost like a reflex after I had been in bed with her for a little while so I got out not knowing if I was making her uncomfortable.  That was the only movement I saw while there.   I played, "It is Well" by Bethel and "You make me brave" on my phone and sang/cried.  They surprised me and had those songs playing at the funeral💔

Love and miss you forever, Aunt Holly!